Today is our ten year anniversary. The time has gone by really fast yet the details of certain things at the beginning of this journey seem like forever ago. Life is so different now from when we met in Spokane in 2003. We used to go to the park together during the summer, and take road trips, and go out to eat, and go for rides on my motorcycle. Sometimes we would just hang out - we had so much free time, relatively speaking.
I left Spokane around August or September 2003 for training in Texas, then back to Spokane for Thanksgiving to propose, then back to Texas to finish my course, then to Colorado for the wedding. The next year was spent in California and then two more years in Hawaii before returning to Colorado at the end of 2006. Even though we had Julia at the end of 2007, the first year here seemed relatively the same as before.
Jonathan came along and I took some time off from work in 2010. Then all his medical issues started. That's when things started to change. Not only did we have another child, but Julia was growing up and eventually started school. Now we both work, have two little dictators running the country and starting wars, bills, and a cat, in addition to being married. The vast majority of our energy, time, and money is spent on the kids with little room for much else, however planned. Our situation isn't that unique - in fact, it's pretty much the same as most everyone else.
The above paragraphs help explain why the average divorce happens sometime around year seven. So much change, so many demands, so many unprepared people. I think that the first ten years are easily the hardest. It would disingenuous of anyone to sit here and say nothing but great things about the first ten years. Just because they are hard, doesn't mean they are unhappy though. The point is, I think we've happily made it through the tough years. There will always be challenges to face, but they will be different kinds of challenges. The next ten years will be very different from the last ten, and hopefully somewhat easier. We're entering the real/critical family phase, the ages from adolescence to teenage years.
Why do I bring
all these facts up? As practical and boring as it sounds, this is the
married with children life. If you want the blessings that come with
being married and having children (which are numerous), you have to choose a teammate who
is willing and able to work through this life with you. To be
successful, the character of your mate is most important. They have to
be selfless, hard working, mature, willing to compromise, willing to let
the minor things go, not proud, with lots of grace on hand for when its
needed. Luckily, I have found that in Stacey, despite the imperfections
in both of us.
I've been lucky enough to find someone that has helped navigate life's challenges with, instead of someone who has created life challenges to overcome. There is a big difference between being married to a fellow firefighter and an arsonist. So in a practical, round about post, I'm saying I'm very thankful that I chose Stacey for these first ten years. We'll see how things pan out over the next ten years! All kidding aside (see, I can do that now that we've defied statistics), thank you Stacey. I love you and look forward to spending the rest of my life with you by my side.