Spurs Confirm Sudduth Signing

(AP) In a bizarre twist of fate, Tottenham Hotspur completed an unexpected February signing minutes before the midnight deadline expired. At approximately 11:58 p.m. on February 29th, the club and the up and coming American star-forward agreed to undisclosed terms. Sources close to the situation say that the deal has been in the works for approximately one week but delayed because “Sudduth didn’t want to miss the latest episode of Lost”.

Sudduth is currently the leading scorer for the local pub side Focus United F.C. (FUFC) in Colorado. When asked about the last minute deal, Sudduth responded “thank God this is a leap year”. He further commented that he looked forward to playing with likes of Keane and Berbatov and that “it’s brilliant to be able to play with brilliant players, ‘cause when they play brilliant it’s brilliant, brilliant, mmmmhmmm”. FUFC declined to comment on the deal, but their spokesman did say that Sudduth is “dangerous!” and “ooof!”. FUFC pub-side trainer, Rex (founder of the Rex Kwan Do Self-Defense System) said of Sudduth from his dojo, “he has the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man”.